Updated: Jan 10
Do you know what autophobia is?
It's something that countless single women all over the world are severely suffering from.
It's the fear of being alone. Yes.... It's a real thing!
Many women are forsaking the standards and desires of their dream relationships to prevent living a lifetime of singleness. But I've got 3 reasons why being alone is MUCH better than settling for what's readily available.
1. Settling makes you bitter and resentful
It sharpens the focus on everything you're not getting. When you settle, you unintentionally force and manipulate the other person to become everything you need that they never possessed. This takes the focus off of the good things they bring into your life and completely disregards them. You become the bully in your relationship because of your frustration with unmet expectations and the other person becomes your punching bag. Before you know it, most of your sentences towards them starts with "Why can't you just..." "You never...." and "What's so hard about..."
2. Settling interferes with your life's purpose
Your purpose should be the scale that you weigh your relationships on. It's true that God predestined a purpose for each one of us before he even pieced us together. And I truly believe that God is so intentional that He even predestined the people we would need in our lives based on that purpose as well.
As soon as Adam chose Eve, God gave them a purpose - one that they were already designed to accomplish together. When we settle for what's available instead of choosing someone who aligns with our purpose, the very thing we were created to accomplish is hindered or completely comes to a halt. And you can never be truly fulfilled and happy if you aren't pursuing the things you were created for.
3. Settling gives love a bad name
The reason that most of us are so comfortable settling is because it's something we see often. Your relationship is being seen by others as an example - every relationship teaches someone something about love. When you settle, you're adding to the notion that it's okay - that this is what you have to do in order to be in a relationship. As if it's just "a part of the process."
I don't know about you, but I would rather stay single and send the message that you can still live an amazing, fulfilling, impactful life instead of having my relationship be a symbol of compromised worth and standards brought on by fear.
Your relationship should be a symbol of love, faith, and inspiration to others. It should show the world around you what can happen when you trust God and settle for nothing less than His best. The next time you get impatient or riddled with fear, I hope these things come to mind. I hope that you are reminded of your worth and have enough courage to pass on what's merely available, knowing that what God has in store for you will be well worth the wait!