Updated: Mar 20, 2020
Let me start off by staying this:
Our single status does not require us to be an open book with no boundaries.
You do NOT have free range to say or ask any and everything just because someone is single.
Now we know you have good intentions, but some of you think it's okay to ask reckless questions and make reckless statements in relation to our single lives. Well... it's not.
So here are 35 things to that a single usually (and secretly) hates to hear.
1. Why are you still single?
Do you really think we have the answer to this question?? And it's quite offensive. All we hear is, "Why doesn't anyone want to be with you?"
2. Are you dating anyone?
Unless you're single and getting ready to ask me on a date, I don't want to have this conversation with you. This question instantly induces anxiety. We think you either have some lame person you're trying to set us up with or you're trying to throw shade about us still being single.
3. It's about time for you to settle down.
This insinuates that you think I'm "out here in these streets." All single people aren't swiping right and sleeping around. Most of us actually live very low-key lives. Just because you were buck wild back in the day doesn't mean... Okay, I'll stop.
4. Don't you want to have kids?
Please get out of my womb. If God can get Sarah pregnant at the ripe old age of 90, I think I'm good.
5. I'll help you find someone!
Please don't! Unless your own relationship is major goals, we don't want your help. And it's really awkward for us to verbally say that.
6. So what's wrong with you?
Some people choose to be single. Singleness isn't a disease that only the crazy and troubled people catch.
7. What's your sign?
This one is especially nerve-wracking for me because I hate the reactions I get when I tell people I'm a Gemini. There are some accuracies when it comes to a person's sign but don't try to pair us singles up with someone just because our signs are compatible. Because it might get ugly when those individual differences kick in.
8. Don't worry, you'll find someone eventually
Gee thanks. Here I was thinking all was lost.
9. You seem happy!
Should I be miserable??
10. Whatever happened to [insert ex's name here]?
A good rule of thumb: Don't ever ask about someone you don't see around anymore. Mmkay?
11. What do you do with all that time?!
Single people have daily schedules and routines too! Now stop calling us every time you need a favor just because you think we have nothing better to do.
12. When I was your age, I was already married with kids.
Don't project your decisions on me just to feel better about your life.
13. There is plenty of fish in the sea.
I don't need plenty. Just one.
14. Your time will come.
This is such a pity line. As if I'm number 1,234,567 in line for happiness. If you haven't noticed, singles aren't waiting to be happy and fulfilled anymore. Our time is now!
15. We gotta find you a man!
Make it stop...
16. I wish we could double date.
Would you like me better if I wasn't single?
17. I would invite you but you'll probably be the only single one there.
Then why even mention it to me?!
18. Can my boyfriend come with us?
Heck no! This is the utmost disrespect. Especially if we've made a plan ahead of time. Don't use this situation to have the best of both worlds. You're not Hannah Montana and this ain't the Disney channel, Sis.
19. Do you want to come with us? I feel bad leaving you alone.
Stop treating us like we're sad, lonely, and wounded. We usually don't feel sad until you point out the fact that we're alone. So thanks for that...
20. When's the last time you've been on a date?
I'm still single. Get over it.
21. I'm a great match-maker!
Again, when you invite yourself to set us up, it's hard to turn you down. Especially when you get so excited about it. If we want to be set up, we'll let you know. Is everybody good on that? Okay good. Moving on.
22. Are you putting yourself out there?
Are you trying to annoy me?
23. Never get married.
Just because you chose wrong doesn't mean I will. Don't kill my dreams!
24. You're so lucky!
And then you proceed to complain about the very thing that I desire to have. What an invisible slap in the face.
25. You should get a makeover!
Wait, how long have you been wanting to say that??
26. Let's make you a Tinder profile!
27. Is that why you're still single?
Are we really back to this again?!
28. *Walks up to you while you're talking to someone* And who is THIS??
Completely mortifying. That's the single person's equivalent to walking up to a bloated woman asking how far along she is in her pregnancy.
29. Don't worry, you're next!
But who's worried though?
30. [insert name here] totally likes you!
Don't fall for it! This has turned out horribly for me! If he really likes you, you'll know it from him. Nobody else will have to tell you.
31. Did you see [insert ex's name] new girlfriend?/ Did you know [ex's name] is married now?
*Prays for the strength of the Lord to keep from slapping you*
32. I'm glad I don't have to be in the dating world anymore.
Good for you... *fake smile / behind-the-back eye roll*
33. I gave [blank] your number...
You did WHAT?! Major violation!
34. Just go out with him, he seems nice.
We're not all desperate. "Nice" shouldn't be the only qualifying factor we have to go by.
35. Your standards are too high / You're too picky
So I have to lower my standards just to ensure that I don't spend my life alone? I'd rather be alone than settle.