Let me start by saying that these questions are NOT for the Y.O.L.O. daters. These are questions for those who are dating with a purpose in mind: Marriage. With that being said, let’s set some ground rules, so if your next date sucks in a major way you won’t have a reason to come looking for me! Ok? Ok.
Rule number 1: Make a friend and have fun. Dates should never feel like an interview. The most successful marriages begin as friendships, the main objective should be determining if you want them as a friend.
Rule number 2: Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to answer. We can get so wrapped up in checking things off of our “lists” (you have one, don’t act like you don’t, it’s all good) that we forget that our date has one as well. Be prepared to answer the questions you ask.
Rule number 3: Unless you have one of those 8 hour dates where you talk about everything under the sun (adorable), don’t feel pressured to ask all of your questions in one date. Keep them in mind, but ask them as it flows in natural conversation… or in those awkward moments when both of you run out of things to say.
Rule number 4 is MOST important: Don’t let your questions get in the way of what your discernment is trying to tell you about your date as well. You may not need to ask ANY questions and just hi-tail it outta there! Pray before your date and ask God to reveal what you need to see.
Alright! Let’s get into 5 seemingly simple questions that could tell you so much more about your date than you would expect! (In no particular order.)
1. What church do you go to?
(I just felt all of the non-churchgoers back out of this post LMBO!!)
This question lets you know if they are spiritual and what spirit they subscribe to (there are bad spirits as well as good ones). Amos 3:3 says “How can two walk together unless they agree?” So make sure that you are prepared to be in agreement with whoever they serve and submit to. (Note: If they aren’t for Christ then they are automatically against Him. There’s no gray area. I don’t make the rules.)
Also ask follow-up questions like where it’s located, who the pastor is, and what the earmark of their church is (for example, my church is known for its emphasis on evangelism.) This will let you know if they are a faithful or casual member. Sneaky sneaky…
2. What’s your definition of success?
This will tell you what they’re motivated by and what they value as well.
For example, if someone says: “My definition of success is having a clear understanding of my purpose and using it to impact the world, as well as being financially independent so that I can live comfortably, provide for my family, and retire early” then, more than likely, this person is purpose-driven and ambitious, wants to make a difference in the world, strives to be financially successful, and values family. Winner!!!
Now if someone says: “Get money and live life, ya feel me!”