Updated: Jan 10, 2020
For many modern women, “submission” has become a cuss word.
How are the women of the 21st century expected to be so independent out in the world, yet so submissive in our homes??
This seems to be one of the most pressing concerns among women desiring to one day become married. As a proactive, single, Christian woman entering her 30’s, I decided to compile (what I believe) to be the best tips I’ve used for preparing to submit to my husband while still single.
1. Practice with God.
First, you must learn to submit to God and his Word. If you can’t master submission in your relationship with Him, then you’re definitely going to struggle in your marriage. If your husband is suppose to love you like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), then that requires the “church” to be obedient to Christ. Jesus says, “If you love me, you’ll accept my commands” (John 14:15).
Submitting to God in your singleness builds trust because you realize that He knows best. As wives, we have to trust our husbands- the head of our homes- to know what’s best. And in the instances when they don’t (because sometimes, they won’t), you can rely on your trust in God- the trust that you’ve established back in your singleness- to lead him in the right way.
2. Forgive your exes.
We have a tendency to drag our past experiences into our current situations. Resentment and bitterness makes it nearly impossible to master submission in marriage. If you haven’t truly forgiven your ex (or even yourself) for what happened in your relationship, then that means you’re still carrying those things with you.
As much as you want to think you’re over it, you may have just buried those things in the background of your heart and mind. And it could very well stay in the background, until you get into a situation that causes it to rear its ugly head. This situation is most likely going to be your next relationship. If you don’t let go of those things now in your singleness, then you’ll treat your husband like you would treat your ex, which will definitely cause him to become your ex!
3. Be selective.
I can’t stress how important it is to determine the type of man you want to marry while you’re still single. Take some time to understand what you need from your husband. What type of person do you need him to be?
We may have to submit to our husbands, but we also get the privilege to choose who we marry. Clearly define the type of person you wouldn’t mind submitting to. If not, it will feel like a chore or a punishment. Make sure that you equip yourself with the ability to choose a man that you can take pride and joy in submitting to.
4. Find your balance.
Mastering this will