Updated: Jan 10, 2020
Do you really love your singleness as much as you say you do? Or are you just afraid of being in a relationship? It's a real thing - having a fear of relationships - and understandably so. Love can be a little scary! Nobody knows that better than me. So when I was asked by a Royal about how to get over her fear of marriage, I decided to share 5 things that's helped me overcome my fear of relationships.
1. Learn what real love is
Most of us develop a fear of relationships by encountering a false version of love at some point in our lives. You thought that what you experienced or witnessed was love when it could have merely been chemistry, a connection, or maybe even co-dependence. And when that ended up hurting or disappointing you in some way, you rejected love as a whole instead of the version of love that that particular person showed you.
(Hate to cut deep right out the gate, but it is what it is.)
Or maybe you assumed that love alone could make someone incapable of making mistakes or hurting you. And because your expectations went unmet, it caused you to be disappointed.
Side Note: This is the importance of being whole before your relationship because your damage could end up damaging others who have placed their heart in your hands. All it takes is one situation to turn a hopeful person into a hurting person who will go on to hurt others, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
The realest, purest form of love is explained in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7:
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Now our first reaction to this is usually, "How do I find someone like THAT?!"
But the best way to attract these qualities is to first possess them. As I often say, You attract who you are not what you want.
taking a moment to dig into yourself and honestly ask which qualities you could use a little more of. Work on increasing in those qualities before you open yourself up to a relationship so that you're opening yourself up to attract someone else who possesses them as well.
2. Just Do It
The best way to overcome a