Updated: Sep 3, 2019
Listen, I get it....
I'm 30.... I'm still single.... I'm not dating anyone....
If I sit and think about it for too long, I may just burst into tears.
Marriage is one of my greatest desires, and as much as I enjoy being single, I still have my moments. So I'm going to share with you 5 ways that I use to make myself feel better about "still" being single.
1. Submit and release your relationship to God.
Sit down with God and talk about ALL of the desires you have for your relationship. Get it all out! Write it all out if your have to! Then release your relationship to Him and TRUST Him with it.
Trust Him to bring the right person in the right way at the right time. If you continue to try and make it happen for yourself, you'll only be limiting your possibilities. Choose to get the relationship God has for you, no matter how long you have to wait because it will be worth it!
2. Focus on your purpose
This kills 3 birds with one stone! Not only is your purpose the key to living the BEST single life you could ever imagine, but it also acts as a magnet that attracts the right person to you and even serves as the "training" needed to prepare you for them when they arrive! It's literally the most productive thing you can do while single.
Yes, we have desires and we want them fulfilled. There's nothing wrong with that. But many singles are on one end of the spectrum or the other - either we're swearing off love and relationships like the plague or we're so obsessed with it that we can't be happy or satisfied until it finally happens for us. We have to live a healthy balance of current contentment while preparing for the things we want and your purpose is the key to accomplishing all of this.
3. Plan something BIG!
A lot of singles feel like we can't truly experience life until the "love of our life" is here to experience it with us. We've sensationalized having someone to do things with. We've fantasized so much about getting to a certain place in our lives and doing certain things with a Boo or Bae that doing them alone just seems absurd to us.
But last time I checked, Paris is still Paris when you're single! Plan an international trip or a major event like skydiving! At the very least, the preparation for it will keep your mind off of what you feel like you're missing and on to what you have coming up.
4. Reach out to someone
I used to think that I could live a life with no friends and be just fine. But something a little scary that I've learned from this is that everything makes sense in your own head.
Sometimes when I feel a certain way or get discouraged about whether I should give up on marriage ever happening for me (yes, even I have these moments), I go to a friend I can trust with my feelings and speak my thoughts out loud. It makes me really, REALLY uncomfortable, but when I say things out loud to another person, I get to hear just how crazy or untrue my thoughts and perspectives really are. Even if no ground-breaking solutions are reached, I always feel so much better afterwards. It's very reassuring when I'm reminded that I don't have to carry the weight of my pain, fears, and thoughts all by myself.
5. Pray and speak your faith
I've said this a million times: You have what you say.
Life and death are in the power of the tongue and you will eat the fruit of it, whether it's good or rotten. (Proverbs 18:21)
I say daily affirmations that are based on the word of God and what I desire for my life. When I speak these things, it makes me feel strong and hopeful because I know that the more I say it, the more I believe it, and the closer I get to seeing it manifest. It gives me something to "do with my hands" during the wait. It reassures me that it's on it's way - that God is working on it and He won't allow me to be forgotten or go without something I'm putting my faith behind. It also intercepts my freak-out moments. Instead of giving into my feelings of frustration and discouragement, I can be more productive by speaking my faith.
Just because you feel ready for a relationship doesn't necessarily mean that it's time. Don't allow your impatience or frustration or loneliness bully you into rushing into something that's this important. The discomfort you feel now will never be worse than the aftermath of getting into the wrong relationship. You are right where you need to be. Believe that, focus on purpose, and trust God for the rest.