Updated: Feb 13
It's only 2 days until National Single Awareness Day a.k.a. Valentine's Day...
Have you noticed that singles don't have a special holiday? (And no... birthdays don't freakin' count. We all have those!)
Nobody will ever show up to your door with a "Congratulations For Not Marrying The Wrong Guy" gift.
Or a "Good Job for Staying Abstinent This Year" present.
Not even a "Thank You For Not Flirting With My Drunk Husband at the Christmas Party" gift basket. (Don't make that face. You know it happens...)
If singles want a holiday, we have to create it ourselves! And I say we hijack V-Day! Who's with me?!
On a day where you can't escape the public displays of affection all around you, it is possible to still be excited about the day as a single person for a bunch of other reasons that don't require you to be in a relationship.
So instead of preparing to be down, depressed, and green with envy, try these 6 genius ideas for how to spend Valentine's Day as a single.
1. Start a new tradition
Change the day! Create your own holiday.
Just because it's Valentine's Day for everyone else doesn't mean that it has to be Valentine's Day for you. Give the day a new name and decide to spend the day doing something that you actually enjoy and can look forward to all year.
Make it your own personal holiday. For you, it could be Spa Day 2020 or Road Trip Day or Nap, Snack, & Movie Day! Take the day off from work and spend it doing something that you enjoy. You deserve it!
The great thing about being single is that your time is literally your own. You can do what you want when you want, wherever you want to do it. Don't be so caught up in rushing towards a relationship that you miss the chance to take advantage of that.
2. Create a gift registry for yourself
As a single, you've probably spent a lot of time and money on occasions for people who are in a relationship or married - weddings, baby showers, anniversaries - the list goes on and on.
Well, now it's your turn! *evil grin*
Go to your favorite store or website, create a gift registry or wish list for yourself, and send it to all of your married friends and family members that you've shown up for over the past year!
Let's be honest, they are always hitting us singles up for last-minute favors because they know we're usually available. Well, now it's time for them to show up for you.
You might be surprised at how many of your loved ones will actually gift you for simply asking and being your amazing single self!
3. Travel / Plan a stay-cation
There's nothing more refreshing than a change of scenery. One way to escape the constant barrage of V-Day hooplah is to get out of town.
Plan a trip to the nearest warm beach or a city you've always wanted to visit. And if you're trying to hold on to that single-income coin, then just plan a staycation at a nice hotel with a good view and a hot tub. Find a close, quaint Air BNB to hide out in for a night or two. Plan a dinner at a rooftop restaurant where you can get a bird's eye view of the city.
The world seems so small when you're always traveling the same grounds. Change your atmosphere and environment. Don't have to wait for someone to do these things with. Get our of your usual box and experience the world around you!
4. Plan a single's night
Now I know that I just said to stop waiting for someone to do things with... But!
Let's be honest, it can get a little lonely as a single person. And you can bet that if you're feeling it, other singles are feeling it too. So instead of going it alone, why don't you all just get together?
Make a whole night of it! Grab your single friends, get dressed up, plan a dinner, catch a show, go dancing - take the city by storm!
Or maybe your single crowd is a little more chill and you prefer to stay in, collaborate on cooking a BOMB meal, play some games, and swoon like crazy during a Marvel movie marathon.
Again, you're all single so the sky is the limit!
If you're kind of like me and your friends are in short supply (I'm working on it...) then join a MeetUp group of saved and single ladies and see what they have planned. The perfect opportunity to make some new friends. (There's no need to act tough... you know you need them.)
5. Unapologetically feel exactly how you want to feel about the day
Sometime's the feeling of being "still single" is so thick that there's nothing I can do to distract myself from it. It can get overwhelming sometimes, especially if you don't have someone you trust to share these things with.
During those times, the best thing for me to do is sit with my feelings for a while and try to make sense of them so that they don't end up coming back to bite me later on.
If this sounds like you, then I want to suggest taking the day to explore those feelings instead of pushing them to the back of your mind or using Valentine's Day as an opportunity to act out in an unhealthy way, such as drinking, using drugs, having a one-night stand, over-eating, or self-loathing.
Be intentional about setting aside some alone time on this day to feel whatever you're feeling without feeling guilty or ashamed about it.
Choose a form of expression that speaks to you. For me, it's writing.
There was one year that I was longing for my future husband so intensely that I just began to write him a letter. After I was done, not only did I feel a lot happier but I also felt more content. I went from feeling desperate and anxious to simply having something to look forward to in the future.
For you, it may be painting, dancing, singing, cooking, praying, even crying. Set an environment that you can be vulnerable in, but not just for the purpose of being sad and pitiful.
The goal is to express how you're feeling in a positive, healthy way and to be able to pinpoint the source of why you feel the way that you feel - to gain a better understanding of what you desire and why.
The last time I did this, I was able to trace my desperation for a relationship to being unfulfilled in the direction my career was taking. This whole time I thought I needed a man to be happy when really what I truly desired was to feel purposeful in my life. Who knew?!
The whole point of this post is to let you know that you don't have to fall in line with the environment around you. You don't have to drown in your feelings just because it's Valentine's Day.
Do the same thing with V-Day that you do with every other day. Create the day that you want to live. Make it yours! Make it whatever you want it to be.
The best part about being single is the very part that few people take advantage of - you don't have to choose a path to take. You can create the path that you want for yourself and not give a FLYING BISCUIT how anybody feels about it!
This is YOUR day. This is your life. Let that empower you.
Happy Whatever-The-Heck-You-Want-It-To-Be Day!