Did anyone ever break it off with you because “the timing was off”? Welp, they were either really self-aware or straight up LYING! But for their sake, let’s go with the self-aware option!
It is completely possible to do the right thing at the wrong time. We aren’t usually wrong about the “what” but the “when.” It’s impossible for us to gauge the perfect timing because the only time that we think is perfect is “right now.” Let’s get into some dangers of being too early and too late in relationships.
There were times when I began new relationships against my better judgement or took important steps in my relationships before I was ready, just because I was lonely, or freaking out about not being married at my goal age, or convinced that once I got into a relationships I would finally, truly be happy and everything else in my life would magically fall into place as well. This caused me a lot of hurt and pain that required so much more time to heal from than if I would have just waited until the right time.
Moving ahead of God’s timing will not only cause good things to fail horribly, but it will also turn things intended to be good into something that could cause harm and damage to yourself and others.
There are times when God will give us the desire for marriage, but we still have to move at His timing because if not, we could interpret this desire in the wrong way. He may just want you to know that marriage will happen for you, or possibly that it won’t happen until you prepare for it. In other words, get your life together! It’s nothing worse than being blessed with the very thing you’ve always wanted, only for it to turn into ruins because you don’t know how to maintain it. A lot of people finally get married, only to get divorced soon after, and they think it’s because marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be when really they may not have taken the time to prepare properly or they moved too early in the relationship.
A lot of times when we move too slowly or not at all in relationships it usually has to do with fear: we’ve been hurt, betrayed, abandoned; we’re resentful, bitter, or vengeful; we’re afraid of rejection; or we just don’t know what to expect. This causes us to miss out on (or never experience)the REAL version of the GREATEST thing that exists: Love. Tennyson was right…
“It’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.”
God may send an amazing person into our lives, but when our fear causes us to drag our feet or downplay how we really feel about someone or how we hope it will go, we end up sabotaging a relationship that was probably meant to be our last. This forces the other person to decide whether they want to wait for you to come around or move on without you. And if the person is truly healed and whole, chances are they will move on without you. A person like this knows their worth and will only wait around for so long until they move on to someone else who will be able to appreciate and welcome everything they have to offer.
One of the worst feelings I’ve experienced is missing out on something that could have been completely life-changing and never knowing if I will ever have the opportunity to do it all over again. There’s a word for it actually, I believe this is called “regret.” It has the ability to eat some people alive.
If your timing is going to be off, I suggest that you’re at least too early. Yes, you will have a lot of humbling lessons to learn and hearts to mend, but even that is easier to live with than regret. At least you will have the chance to learn and adjust for when the right time arrives. If you’re late, you just miss out.
As the Orchestrater of the universe, there is a certain window of opportunity that God appoints for all things, and the only way for us to operate in perfect timing is to depe