Ahh the holidays!! Pumpkin spice, sweet potato pie, sequins, and the aroma of cinnamon pinecones… Yes Gawd.
This is commonly a time of year when many singles feel a heightened sense of loneliness, but ironically, this is also the best time of year to increase your chances of finding “The One.”
Welcome to Holiday Dating 101! By the end of this blog, you’ll never look at being single for the holidays the same again! This might even be your LAST single holiday! GASP! Ok ok, before you get too excited (too late??) let me explain why this is “the mooost wonderful tiiiiime of the yeeeear” to date (Hehe, I’m obsessed with Christmas music.)
Tis the Season for Getting Serious!
During the holidays, people usually spend a lot more time with their families. And if they are single, but pretty much have their lives together, then their family members will, more often than not, inquire on when they will meet a nice girl/guy and settle down. And aging, no-filter grandma might just outright ask when she’s getting grand-babies from you. All of this family time is going plant seeds for thoughts about relationships and marriage. Not to mention, all couples and families look a little cuter during the holidays, so it’s pretty impossible not to visualize what it would be like to have your own cute little holiday family. *insert hearts and bubbles*
People tend to not be as serious about looking for The One during the warmer seasons of spring and summer. That’s when most people shift gears to thoughts about vacation…on beaches…where people are practically naked… and they won’t get in trouble for looking because they’re SIINNGGGLLEE! Whooo! Right?? Yeah, I know.
How to prepare
1. Have 3-5 non-negotiables
Non-negotiables are those things that you are not willing to budge on in your relationship. Challenge yourself not to make these things physical characteristics. Your non-negotiables are so much bigger than having straight teeth and being over 6 feet tall. They’re those things that put an immediate “X” on someone’s forehead. If a person conflicts with any of your non-negotiables then that means that they are automatically not The One for you, so this means that they obviously should carry a lot of weight. Let me give you an example of mine…
My #1 non-negotiable is that my future husband has to have a heart for God. He can’t just believe in God; he has to live, move, breath, and have his being in Him. This is so important to me because this is how I live as well, and the last thing I want to do (again) is enter into a relationship with someone whose love for God doesn’t match my own (this is what “unequally yoked” means). I also know that if my husband is completely submitted to God, then I won’t have to worry about him lying, cheating, ect. I often say, “If you aren’t submitted to God, then I’m not submitting to you.”
2. DTR statement
In addition to having your 3-5 non-negotiables, you also want to have, what I call, a DTR statement. DTR stands for Define The Relationship; a DTR statement is a simple, clear statement that you will use to define what you are looking for in a relationship to quality potentials. You want to do this as early as possible because:
It sets a standard and boundary right from the beginning.