Updated: Mar 6, 2020
Here's a riddle for you...
What's something that a single woman can never have too much of but is usually in short supply? That's right. Confidence!
In the past, my confidence came from whether or not I was in a relationship and whether or not that relationship was going the way I wanted it to. Recently, I've decided to be intentional about becoming more confident in myself and my gifts. So I decided to reread Joyce Meyer's book, The Confident Woman. In it, she highlights 7 secrets of a truly confident woman and I immediately knew it was something I wanted to share with you!
If you don't know Joyce Meyer's story, it will definitely shock you. Seeing how she stands in front of thousands of people and fearlessly teaches all over the world, you would never guess that she was sexually abused as a child by her own father and divorced from her first marriage by the age of 23.
And that's just the short version of her testimony. She's endured and recovered from so many things in her life and has still been able to successfully heal and find love again all while living out a globally impactful purpose. She was even able to forgive her father, lead him to Christ, and take care of him during the final years of his life.
Sooo yeah, if I'm taking lessons in confidence from anyone it's going to be her! Not to mention she keeps it ALL the way real. So if more confidence is what you're after, then here are 7 qualities you need to adopt immediately.
1. A confident woman knows she is loved
She doesn't fear being unloved, because she knows first and foremost that God loves her unconditionally. To be whole and complete, we need to know we are loved - Joyce Meyer
This made a lightbulb turn on for me personally. It's impossible to be confident without understanding that you are loved, even if you aren't yet who you think you should be.
For most of my life, I've felt like I needed to earn the love of others by being perfect and performing well, even in my relationship with God. But once I understood that God loves me the same whether I do everything wrong or everything right, it gave me the freedom to live more confidently instead of constantly walking on eggshells.
2. A confident woman refuses to live in fear
That doesn't mean that we will never feel fear, but it does mean that we will not allow it to rule our decisions and actions - Joyce Meyer
In the book, Joyce talks about how the devil uses fear to keep us from enjoying our lives and making progress. But the opposite of fear is faith - believing that God's promises are true and specifically for you.
Living in fear is probably one of my deepest struggles. I have to constantly be intentional about interrupting and changing fearful thoughts and patterns. But something that has completely changed the game for me is meditating on the fact that God's word is true and it applies to me!
God is on your side and nothing can change the fact that, through Him, you live from a place of victory. No matter what things look like, victory has to happen because it's already established by God. That gives me so much confidence knowing that I've already won before I even start!
3. A confident woman is positive
If you think that you are protecting yourself from being disappointed by not expecting anything good, you are mistaken - Joyce Meyer
Being positive is a choice. And so is being negative. It is solely dependant on what you choose to repeatedly do- how you choose to speak, think, and act. It's the product of your repetitious behavior.
When someone has experienced a lot of hurt, pain, and disappointment, that person has a tendency to develop a negative mindset as a coping mechanism and call it "being realistic."
4. A confident woman is resilient
A confident woman isn't afraid to make mistakes, and if she does, she recovers and presses on - Joyce Meyer
I spent a lot of time stuck in the same places for fear of making the wrong move. I didn't make any mistakes, but I also had to watch my life and everyone else pass me by. I've learned that the only failure is never trying anything. Some of the most successful people actually got the biggest break from their biggest screw-up.
In the book, Joyce explains that most people become confused about what to do with their lives simply because they haven't yet failed their way to their true calling. She talks about all of the careers she tried and failed in and how they led her to be the teacher and speaker she is today.
Each action you take is a stepping stone that gets you closer to your destiny, even if that step results in a failure. Stop allowing your mistakes to stop you and let them lead you to your purpose.
5. A confident woman avoids comparisons
I found myself always comparing myself with someone, and in the process rejecting and disapproving of the person God created me to be - Joyce Meyers
Comparison is offensive to God. He was very strategic piecing each and every part of you together for very specific purposes. And the very things about us that He meant to be a blessing are the very things we choose to hate. Why? Because we see what someone else was blessed with and mistakenly believe that what they have is better.
A confident woman is able to appreciate the gifts of others while still being sure that her gifts are equally as remarkable, even if those gifts look different. Your uniqueness is a showcase of God's creativity. He will never help you become someone else so cherish how he's created you and find contentment in that.
6. A confident woman takes action
There are two types of people in the world. The ones who wait for something to happen and the ones who make something happen - Joyce Meyers
I was definitely one of those people who waited for life to happen to me. I took no control over or responsibility for the direction of my life. And the longer I waited for something amazing to happen, the longer it didn't.
This caused my confidence to take major hits because I had a front-row seat to watch life literally pass me by. Joyce says that God works through faith, not fear. It's the fear that keeps us from making moves and trying new things. But it's the leaps of faith that gets God's attention and makes Him respond to you. Even if you don't have all of the answers, God will reward your faith by stepping in and doing what you can't.
7. A confident woman doesn't live in what was lost
If you will give God what you have, no matter how little or ineffective you may think it is, God will use it and give you back more than you gave Him - Joyce Meyer
Another thing that negatively affected my confidence in a major way was my mindset. I spent a lot of time being hung up on my regrets, what I didn't have, and my "what ifs." I was blaming what I didn't like about my life on everything that was not in my possession.
If only I had [fill in the blank].
I wish I still had [fill in the blank].
Why can't I just have [fill in the blank]
I had a very bad habit of convincing myself that I never had what I needed to do what I wanted to do with my life, which couldn't be further from the truth.
God is a God of multiplication. If we will just take what little we have, do what we can with it, and trust Him with the rest, He will work out some pretty amazing things! Not to mention, He has a 100% success rate - every time you trust Him, He always comes through.
A confident woman knows that what she needs is never in what she's lost.
Grab a copy of Joyce Meyer's book, The Confident Woman for yourself. It will bless your life!