Ironically enough, it was at my lowest point in life when I became overwhelmingly aware that I was breathing for a reason. Have you ever stopped to think about that? Like REALLY think about it??
I once came across the scriptures Psalms 139: 16 and Ephesians 1:4 and learned that God planned each and every one of my days before He even began creating the earth- that before He planned the universe, He already had plans for ME. My very next thought was… Well WHAT IS IT?!?! I needed to KNOW!!
So I began bugging THE CRAP out of God, praying and asking Him every single day to show me why He didn’t just disintegrate me when He should have. But His only responses were “My timing is perfect” and “trust the process.”
Fast forward to April 4, 2017....
That day after work, I decided to do a home workout. I put on some Mali Music and went in! After my workout, I was laying on my back, stretching my legs when Dr. Myles Munroe’s book, “The Principles and Power of Vision” came to mind. I had read it the night before and one part of the chapter stood out in my mind:
"What world issue bothers you the most?”
I began to think about things that break my heart and things I wish I could fix if I had the power and resources to do so. Again, this sounds like deep thinking, but I was really just casually thinking about it as I did my post- workout stretches, not expecting to come to any profound conclusion.
After I finished my thoughts, I got ready to head to the shower. On my way there (no lie, between walking from the living room to the bathroom) what felt like a million revelations hit me all at once!
The only way I can explain it is that it felt like I was standing between two subway trains going full-speed. But imagine that inside the windows of those subways were memories of all of the events that led me to the very moment I was in. I was suddenly enlightened to… something that I kind of always known.
God showed me that He was working in my life THIS WHOLE TIME! God predestined that very day and that very moment to reveal the very purpose he wakes me up every morning to achieve. CRAZY right?!
Life had a brand new meaning at that point. And I think it’s so comical that it happened during such a random moment. For as long and hard as I was seeking this information, I was expecting the ground to shake and glass to crack! Shoot, I slick expected Jesus to descend just to deliver the news to me personally! But nope, it kind of happened the moment I wasn’t really thinking about it.
I was so overcome with so many emotions that I fell to my knees on the bathroom floor and wept in worship. For a long…..time.
And it gets even better… April 4th is the birthday of one of my ex boyfriends and for a long time, every year on this day I would cringe a little on the inside because thinking about him reminded me of all the hurt he caused me. But God, being the Heart Fixer that He is, took this date and turned it into one that will now and forever bring me joy as the day I discovered my purpose!
Now after I got what I prayed and fasted and waited for, God told me that discovering purpose won’t be as challenging for others as it was for me.
“Well thanks a lot God… but why even tell me that??” *crickets* sigh* “Alright God, what do I have to do…”
He made sure my work definitely didn’t go to waste. I used it all to create this…
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