Updated: Oct 4, 2018
Ok! The hard part is over! (If you haven’t read part 1 of this story click here) This part of the story is about how I recovered COMPLETELY!
((Click the image below to watch the video!!))
I used to always joke that being a “good drinker” (whatever that is…) ran in my blood. There were quite a few alcoholics in my family only that’s not exactly what we called it……Moving on!
I might have had a drinking problem but I was still a psychologist, and I understood that I needed to know when and why this problem started because that would help me determine how to recover from it.
My alcoholism ran a little deeper than me just getting out of control: this issue was a generational curse. Not only did I need to make drastic lifestyle changes, but I also needed to break a cycle that had been plaguing my bloodline for generations.
So here is what I did to become completely free of my drinking problem.
(Disclaimer: Keep in mind that these recovery strategies are specific to me. Treatment for any issue should always be individually tailored, but I have included some “Wisdom Rubies” that can apply to all.)
1. I Got Low
Once I realized I had a real deal issue and how deeply ingrained it was, I got really humble and desperate for God’s help. I sat on the floor in my bedroom and cried as I told him there’s no way I can do this alone. I would do whatever it took, but I didn’t trust myself to know what was best for me or to do the right thing even if I knew what it was.
I started by asking His forgiveness for… everything!!
For trying to play God in my life and not coming to Him sooner. For putting other’s lives in danger. For actually flaunting my problem at times as if it was something to be proud of. For not honoring His sacrifice for me by neglecting my health. And for any time when I caused someone else around me to sin because of it.
Although I was a mess and felt like a complete failure, I could literally feel Him smiling at me. As if to say, “Finally.”
I may have felt like I was sitting at the bottom of a putrid pit, but this is exactly where He needed me.
Wisdom Ruby: God doesn’t deal with pride. There’s not much He can do to help you if you continue to downplay your need for Him and fail to seek forgiveness.
2. I got bold
It takes some kind of courage to ask for exactly what you want, knowing that you don’t deserve it. But that’s the freedom that we have in God. So I tried it out. Why not, I literally had nothing to lose at this point.
I can’t lie. I wanted this process to be quick and easy. I didn’t want to suffer. So I asked God to take the taste of alcohol out of my mouth. I literally wanted it to make me sick if I even thought about it.
And I kid you not....that’s exactly what He did! But not before He tested me.
I remember waking up one morning and sitting up in my bed. I began praying and just telling God how good He was when He completely interrupted me saying this….
“Pour it out.”
Now I was in the beginning stages of learning how to hear from God, so I used that as an excuse to ignore what I heard. I proceeded with my prayer without even missing a beat…
“…and Lord I just love you so much because You’re always so-”
He interrupted me again saying…
“So you’re just going to ignore me? I thought you said you would do whatever it took. Pour it out.”
Now I don’t know how the Lord speaks to you, but He gets a thug voice with me sometimes… you know… when I test His gangster or whatever.
I flipped back the covers, marched to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and there it was: a brand new, perfectly chilled bottle of Merlot. It was literally the ONLY thing in my fridge at the time because I had no money for food. Yes child, broke with a bottle. (My Broke Story… I’m sure that’ll be another 2-parter in the near future, smh.)
I popped the cork on it and poured it down the sink while asking forgiveness, yet again, for being stubborn and ignoring what I heard the first time. As I was pouring, I got a whiff of the wine and instantly felt my stomach get weak.
This was almost 2 years ago and I haven’t even wanted a drink since then. I know it sounds far-fetched but miracles often do *wink*
I know what you’re thinking…
“That’s great for you, but I doubt that it’ll be that easy for me.”
I understand that this won’t be everyone’s story; I can only share what was true for me. As I mentioned before, every person’s recovery needs are different. Some may need to seek therapy or even time in a facility and that's perfectly fine! Get WELL however you need to do it. But listen boo…
The only reason I even attempted to ask for something so outlandish is because I knew that God had done with others before me. And you CAN’T think that God is going to run out of miracles as soon as He gets to you!!
Increase your faith, ask. Believe and don’t doubt. If He did it for me, He’ll do it for you. It may not be in the same exact way, but He’s just waiting for us to get bold enough so that He can make a miracle out of us.
Wisdom Ruby: Ask God for what you want to happen. He wants to make this process easy for you because he never meant for you to be in this situation in the first place.
3. I disappeared.
Now, thanks to the power of God, it wasn’t a challenge for me to stop drinking. It was the lifestyle changes I had to make as a result of it that I struggled with.
This is the very thing some people fail to do that sends them into relapsing.
I realized that this ONE behavior (drinking) actually dictated a lot of the places I went, the people I went with, what I did when I got there, and what I found myself interested in. There was no way that I could return back to the same lifestyle without constantly being triggered to drink again.
Becoming sober meant that I had to change everything! I knew it would be very hard for others to understand why I was doing what I was doing because nobody even knew I had a problem! I knew I had to do this on my own with God leading the way.
So I went on my own personal 6-month incognito life boot-camp, which consisted of:
-no tv, social media, or movies, only books, gospel/positive music, and other inspiring or informative media such as certain podcasts, lives, and webinars.
-avoiding places that had alcohol, even if it was a family member’s house
-no fast food or sweets, healthy whole foods only when I wasn’t fasting
-roughly an hour of silence, prayer, and worship every morning and night
“Why so strict, does it really take all that?”
For me it did. I literally snapped, in the best way possible. I was essentially detoxing my entire lifestyle: my mind, body, environment, spirit, social circle, and even my personality needed a detox.
This process trained me to change my mindset and think differently. It taught me discipline and self-control, which is especially necessary for someone with an addiction. (Sometimes our issue is simply not being able to say “no.”) Not to mention it eliminated any distractions from being able to clearly see the things I needed to change, work on, or remove from my environment.
Let’s be honest… many people wouldn’t be willing to do what I did for as long as I did it, but you have to understand… I was insuring my miracle. And I think that’s why God trusted me with an instant recovery. I wasn't willing to waste it.
Wisdom Ruby: First change your heart so that you are able to change your mind. Then and only then, will you be able to change your behavior in order to change your life.
So there you have it! There’s my whole recovery story.
If you’re curious as to whether you or someone you know has a drinking problem or alcoholism (there is a difference), I’ve included some resources below that offers more clarity, insight, and assistance.
- Take the "Am I an Alcoholic" Self Test
- Click here for the Alcohol Abuse Hotline
- On the Alcoholics Anonymous website, you can find videos, books, daily reflections, and an AA group near you
- Click here for info about The Genetics of Alcoholism
- Here's a video by Tony Evans "Reversing Generational Consequences"