5 Tips for Staying Abstinent

Updated: Jan 10

It's time to get REAL!

I've been abstinent for 2 years now and it ended up being A LOT easier than I thought it would be, but I still get tempted from time to time. During those moments, I use these 5 tips to keep me from giving in.



1. Announce it.


I used to try to get away with skipping this part, but it always backfired on me! If you’re in a relationship, they NEED to know you are abstinent. It may not need to be the very first thing you say on a date, but it needs to be said.


And also tell the people in your closest circle as well. When other people know it, they will make sure you keep your word.


Take this time to surround yourself with people that are positive and support your decision. If someone questions why you’re doing it or tries to talk you out of it, then you may need to limit the amount of time that you spend around them.


Like the Bible says, how can two walk together unless they agree? (Amos 3:3)


2. Know your triggers.


What tempts you?

You might need to fast forward the sex scenes in a movie, or skip that song that gives you flashbacks (you know the one), or unfollow that fine, fit, seductive *cough*insecure*cough* person on Instagram that oozes sex from each and every pore.


Protect your eye and ear gates at all costs because as soon as you make this decision to be abstinent and STAY abstinent, so many temptations are going to come your way. That’s how the enemy works.


3. Define why you’re doing it.


One thing that helped me each and every time I became tempted was remembering all the trouble that sex got me into. NO amount of hormones or fine men could EVER be more powerful than that.


But if you don’t have any of these memories to scare you into success with abstinence, then consider yourself BLESSED! Either way, write down the reasons that you decided to do this because these reasons will be your saving grace when your flesh gives you amnesia.


Keep them with you in your wallet, purse, or in a note on your phone just in case of emergencies. And speaking of…


4. Have an emergency plan!


We would be foolish to think that God and His angels are going to be there to physically stop you from having sex. Not gonna happen. YOU have to do your part to make sure that you cover all of your bases and use self-control. Have a plan in place just in case you find yourself in a sexy situation.


Here are some ideas:


- Come up with an affirmation to recite out loud when you need to interrupt certain thoughts or actions


-Memorize some scriptures that relate to the situation to meditate on. The more you think of these scriptures instead of...other things... the quicker your body will respond to the scripture and not... the other things...


-Have a friend to call. If you’re going on a date or spending time with someone you’re tempted by then let your friend know ahead of time and ask them to be on standby if things get real. Give them a copy of your reasons for being abstinent so that they can bring them back to your remembrance.


-Know when to flee! Set a boundary: If “this” happens, then I’m walking out of “that” door. Have an exit strategy!


5. Pray, Pray, Pray!!


Even if all you can do is call the name of Jesus, pray until the feelings, thoughts, or urges pass. He WILL come to the rescue! He always does. Just try Him.


And be honest with Him about what you struggle with: be specific. Talk about your thoughts and feelings with Him and ask Him to cover you and keep you from temptation.



What are some things you do to stay abstinent? I could always use more tips myself!


Stay strong Royals!!

Learning Love       Pursuing Purpose

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