Updated: Jan 10
You're putting yourself "out there." You've dealt with your past and know your worth. You go to church and live right. You've even decided to be abstinent /celibate. (I mean... MY GOD!)
I know how it feels... to feel like you're doing you're part, but nothing is happening.
Hello God?? Do you see me? Have you forgotten about me??
I get it... all too well. That's why I want to share with you some things that's helped "the wait" become so much easier for me.
Impatience is a sign that you believe what you hope for won't happen.
Timing is everything in relationships. When you feel yourself getting antsy or discouraged, pray for God's perfect timing to cover your future relationship because doing so gives you a brand new perspective on the wait. The last thing you want is for your relationship to start before it's time. It may feel like nothing is happening but there are necessary processes occurring right now- processes that you don't want interrupted because the success of your relationship depends on it.
Some people get impatient because they are waiting and doing very little of anything else.
When all of your energy is focused on one area, you won't be working on the other areas of your life that need to be developed before your relationship starts. You shouldn't be just waiting for your man or woman of God to cross your path, you should be working in the wait.
There's a level of development and maturity that we need to be on before our relationships begin if we want them to be successful. If you’re waiting for your relationship to start before you begin working on these things, then there's a chance that it never will.
Your purpose is what attracts the right person to you because it's the foundation on which you're marriage should be built. But if you aren't already walking in that, then you may never get the attention of the person you are supposed to be with. You might actually get the attention of someone you aren't supposed to be with based on the current level your on.
What if it never happens? what if you never get married?
Your answers to these questions have a lot to do with how well you're waiting. The truth is, marriage isn't for everybody. There are people who always thought they would be married, but once they began to allow themselves to experience the fullness of their life as an individual, they realized that singleness is what they're called to.
Not to say that it won't happen for you or that you should give up on your dream of a wonderful marriage (I know I'm not giving up on mine!) but you have to live your life now in a way that's fulfilling all by itself. We don’t always know what God's plan holds for us. All we have is now. Don't spend it wishing your single days away, rushing to a life that may be nothing like you expect it to be.
Never stake your happiness and contentment on future events. If you can't come to a place where you can still be happy if it doesn't happen, then you run the risk of choosing the wrong person out of desperation or living a depressed life that's never satisfying. And what are the chances that your future spouse will be attracted to a desperate, depressed, unsatisfied person? Not likely.
Your relationship will only be as successful and fulfilling as your singleness is.
We don't magically change from caterpillars to butterflies when we say 'I do'. Most people spend their singleness getting things "out of their systems" or waiting and wishing for marriage, but when they finally get married they realize that the things they hoped would be different are very much the same.
The issues that you fail to deal with in your singleness will be the ones that come back to haunt you in your marriage. Marriage doesn't fix these issues like most of us like to believe, instead they expose them. So make sure that you’re living a life now that you'll be happy with forever, or get ready for a rude awakening.
I want to leave you with a scripture that always keeps me encouraged when the wait gets real:
Let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up - Galatians 6:9