Updated: Mar 7, 2019
I would be lying if I said that I’ve never fantasized about how nice it would be not to have to deal with the sucky parts of life anymore: the hurt, the fear, the worry, the frustrations, the what-ifs, the not-again’s, the why-me’s.
God has been heavily instructing me to write about relationships recently, but this week He made it very clear that He wanted me to share His heart as it relates to suicide and what that means for your purpose. I don’t really understand why the sudden shift in topics occurred, but I do know that His ways and thoughts are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9) and that my disobedience could result in someone missing a message that their life might depend on.
So usually this goes without saying, but I want to make it very clear right now: what you read from this point on are the words and thoughts of God as told by me. (Yes it’s possible, how do you think the Bible came to be??) With that being said, let’s get into it…
If you know anything about the character of God, then you know that He is suuuuper intentional and strategic. Nothing He does is out of order or by accident (1 Corinthians 14:33, 40). He planned each of our entire lives out before we were even conceived (Jeremiah 1:5). I mean, just think about how strategic you would have to be to create the Heavens and the earth. Some of us can’t even tackle writing a coherent to-do list for the day!
So being as orderly as He is, there is no way that He would allow you to make it this far in life and continue to grant you each day just to fill it with misery. He’s very much invested in you specifically for a significant reason.
I don’t know what you’re going through, but if your situation wasn’t meant to be conquered and used to set others free (Luke 4:18) then it wouldn’t be allowed. Not only does God KNOW you can handle it (He doesn’t leave anything to chance), but He’s made SURE that you will come out of it better than before it happened (Romans 8:28, 37; Matthew 12:20).
Only God can be in the past, present, and future all at the same time. We can only see what’s in front of us and behind us, but even most of what we know about our past is forgotten or misinterpreted. That’s why He instructs us to lean not unto our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge (seek, depend on, rely on) Him and He will direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). We don’t know what’s coming, what’s happening, or where life will take us next, but He does.
Of course when you’re in the midst of misfortune or tragedy it seems like it will never get better, but God wants you to know that you’re closer to your best days than you think, even if you see no signs of it yet. He says that the way everything changed for the worst is the same way that everything will change for the best. (I personally don’t know what this means, but ask God what it means for you.)
The worst thing you can do is go through the struggle just to give up right before you get your reward. The race isn’t given to the swift or the strong, but to those who endure to the end. (Ecclesiastes 9:11)
You definitely don’t want to be this guy…
So I asked the Lord, “If you have given us freewill, then why is suicide wrong?”
In true “Jesus fashion” he dropped some heavy knowledge on me and then used a story to explain it. Jesus was notorious for preaching through the use of parables. This is what He said…
“Here’s a truth that is usually very difficult for y’all to fully grasp” (yeah Jesus says “y’all” to me): “You didn’t create yourself, so you don’t belong to you.”
Creations don’t know what’s best for themselves, only the Creator does. So making a drastic, permanent decision with our lives, like committing suicide, is out of our jurisdiction. We can’t possibly know enough about the future or even the very situations that we are in to make a decision like that properly.
Only the Giver of life should decide when a life should end (1 Samuel 2:6). That’s the problem with murder: you are putting yourself into the position of God, and He doesn’t take kindly to people taking His place. (It didn’t work for Lucifer and it won’t work for you either.)
This is the story that God used to help me understand this more clearly:
The owner of a luxury car company offers you the newest model car he has FOR FREE! We’ll say it’s a Rolls-Royce. You accept it immediately(because who wouldn’t??) and he explains that he will take care of the maintenance, insurance, and anything else you may need. All that he asks is everywhere you go you allow others to experience the greatness of the Rolls-Royce and tell them all that he has done for you.
After a series of events you decide, for whatever reason, that the car is no-good and hopeless.
Maybe some jealous person said it was ugly, and you believed it. Or maybe someone else shared a few Rolls-Royce horror stories with you. Maybe you hit a bump in the road and now the car isn’t driving as smoothly as it once did. Maybe the car fell completely apart and you don’t know the first thing about putting it back together.
Whatever happened, based on what you know and what you see, you decide that you’re better off without it. Now there are 2 ways you can handle this:
You might be afraid and a little ashamed of the mess you made with the car, but the best thing to do would be to return it to the owner because he knows exactly what to do to put the car back together.
But let’s say that instead of taking it back to the owner you rationalize that the owner gave it to you so you can choose to do what you want with it. You decide that it’s best to just completely destroy the car because as far as you can tell, nothing can be done to put the car back together again. So you push the Rolls-Royce off of a cliff and once it hits the bottom, it bursts into flames. No more Rolls-Royce.
The owner finds you and asks what happened to the car. So you explain everything, and although it makes perfect sense, you notice that he hangs his head heavily and rests his face in his hands in despair.
He proceeds to remind you of what was in the contract that you signed in order to accept your gift: it came with lifetime replacement insurance. Even if the car was completely totaled, if you brought whatever pieces you have left of it to him, he would have replaced it with a completely new car at no charge to you whatsoever!
He explains that although the car was a gift, it wasn’t yours to destroy. You had a purpose to fulfill with the car: it was so that others could notice your amazing gift, have the opportunity to learn about the owner, and seek the owner for their amazing gift as well! But destroying the car made your contract with him null and void, meaning that you now have to pay for the car in full, even though it was given to you as a gift!
In this example, the owner is God our Creator and the car is our gift of life. Sometimes things happen in our lives that make living seem more like a curse than a gift. And sometimes the very things that we see and hear from others only confirm this: all signs point to hopeless.
But during these times, God intends for us to bring our lives back to him so that He can put it back together again. And every time we bring him the broken fragments of our lives, He revives it, restores it, and refreshes it so that others may see it, be blessed by it, and seek Him for new life as well!
THIS is why He’s so is invested in YOU! He knows the impact that your life and your story will have on those who come into contact with you. But if you walk away from it then that purpose will never be fulfilled and you would have caused many others to miss out on witnessing themiracle of your life and being able to get their miracles as well.
I know it’s kind of cliché, but every day IS a gift, because it means that God still believes in the purpose He created you to fulfill. It means that all of the promises He made to you in His Word still stands! The Bible says that people do in fact get punished for what they don’t know (Hosea 4:6) so make a point to know the promises of God’s word and the blessings that await you every time you choose not to give up! When you get an understanding of those things, you won’t have a choice but to ALWAYS conclude that you’re better off alive!
We may not always understand our situations, why things happen, or even our own thoughts. But when nothing else makes sense and everything seems bad, we can always trust God to be GOOD and to bring good out of the circumstances we are in. We won’t always be able to understand the WHY of it all. But as long as we know the WHO (who God is and who we are in Him) then that’s the truth that will push us through and into another day of living out the purpose that God is invested in.